"I'd hit that shit so hard, that the person to pull me out would become the next fucking king of England."

Honestly, I don't know what it is about MILFS. I seriously don't get why I was so freakin attracted to this woman last night.(who is a co-worker of mine) Shes very good looking, but she's 32 goddamn years old and with 4 goddamn kids(the fact that she is married don't mean shit),. Holy fuck. I was seriously like rearin' to fucking go.

That in itself is weird because I usually don't get like that for any woman. Even MILFS. But this one, she could say something totally off beat and I'd think it be the hottest thing since fucking Pompeii got its shit ruined.

This woman looks like a goddamn woman too. Not this skinny ass bitch shit. Shes got an ass and thighs like something fierce and they are in good shape too. I mean like Chun Li type craziness.

Its more fucking broken that V-ism Sakura. I'm not even playing. I'd hit that shit so hard, that the person to pull me out would become the next fucking king of England.

Thats not even the best part about her. Shes got these goddamn eyes. Like ice blue fucking eyes and I got stunned by just those. If Chris Rock was there, he'd say "NIGGA YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT"

I've always been a sucker for eyes. I don't know why, I guess its because people can always see more in someones eyes than anywhere else. I got fuckin' beat.

It seriously fucking pisses me off. I finally find a girl that I am totally into. I mean fucking 8 hour tantric shit, shes totally chill....and bam, shes 10 years older than me, shes fucking married, and has four kids.

What the fuck God? What the fuck... I guess most people would be depressed about this shit. I'm just fucking pissed.


Son of a bitch. Mike needs a break, seriously. She has almost everything I want in a woman.

What the fuck?! What do I got to do?

Britney Spears. Proof that the justice system hasn't gone to clusterfuck status.

Kids getting removed from a home is serious fucking business. I don't take the shit lightly.

But goddammit, I am glad that Britney Spears had her kids removed from her custody. The bitch was obviously fucking psycho. After the head shaving incident, was the exact point that the government should have said, "Yeaaahhh..No kids for you."

I know I say a lot of negative shit in my rants. But I gotta give fucking props when they are due. Kevin Federline stepped up and was a man... and not his fucking LOLWHITERAPPER tool persona. He came off as a man who cared about his kids. The fact that such a strong action by the court against a celebrity gave me a SHRED of hope for the pussy ass justice system in this country.

But sadly, most of the time against high profile fuckheads the justice system falters. Hell, the justice system of california can't even put low profile criminals away properly. Some of the cases have drove me to frothing at the mouth in excitement/anger like Rosie o Donnel looking at a cheeseburger and a bleeding to death republican right next to each other. It's completely fucking stupid that someone would even consider the justice system to be balanced or effective after the shit I've seen in the last year:

Paris "The Fuckhead who I would pay my fucking life savings to see brutally murdered" Hilton:

Apparently, one DUI charge is not enough for punishment....not two... but a THIRD fucking charge , WHILE HER LICENSE WAS FUCKING SUSPENDED. She was sentenced to 3 FUCKING DAYS IN JAIL, WHICH SHE DID NOT EVEN COMPLETE. After crying for her mommy, the fucking pathetic ass judge felt sorry for her and sent her home.

"Your honor. Yes I did kill the Hilton family. But I miss my mommy. Can I go home?"

Its fucking bullshit. Oh and to all you FUCKING MORONIC DITZY ASS "FISHER PRICE'S MY FIRST BRAIN" IDIOTS who fucking picketed in support of her. You deserve to die. Horribly. There is no doubt in my mind that 65-70% of America are pussy idiots that do not know how to enforce a justice system properly.

Michael "ITS NOT MY FAULT BLACK PEOPLE WERE RAISED LIKE THIS" Vick:

I am so fucking sick of race being used as any fucking excuse. Any time a black rapper, athlete, congressman, Jesse Jackson, does something wrong. They blame it on the Black "Lifestyle" or the white man. I have two words in response to that.


FUCK YOU.


Yes, your mommy and daddy and the white man across the street are the reason you fucking cold blooded murder a number of pitbulls by drowning or hanging them. Not to mention the amount of dogs you sanctioned fights for and they were killed. Anyone who believes this arguement is a FUCKING TOOL. PLEASE BY ALL MEANS KILL YOURSELF.

All the liberal PETA groups are soooo understanding when it falls under the american liberal agenda that all white men are just trying to pin shit on minorities. Its such a fucking crock.

I don't care if your fucking white, black, mexican, or asian. If you do something wrong and are convicted you need to be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

I had one for Martha Stewart, but she's such a fucking psychopath that I wouldn't know where to begin.

Fuck all you hypocritical shitbags.

That's okay. I fucking hate your fucking guts too.

Why are we forced to make small talk at work? I don't do small talk at work. You pay me to work. You don't pay me to bullshit. There are three types of socialites at my job. All of which piss me off.

1. "The Happy Go Lucky Psycho who is also a pathological liar": Seriously? Who the fuck listens to this psycho? She is all bright and chipper. She's 36 and acts 17. It's fucking annoying. Everything she spews about her "knowing people who have done this and that" LIES. Fucking stupid shit. You know everything is in the shitter in her personal life, and its so obvious shes pumping fucking more Zoloft then that goddamn Barry Bonds pumped Steriods(Allegedy, What the fuck ever you stupid cocksucking shiteaters.)

2. "The nosy bitch that don't know": Yeah, I used bad english to describe this archtype. The one that gets into your business or whatever, says something stupid then gets mad when you say something sarcastic. This person I know, I knew in high school and she was the same way. Thats fucking stupid and now she's the nosy bitch at work.

3. "Bitch thats most likely gonna get a nigga killed": Thanks for the assist Roman(The whitest black man ever). This time its different because there are two of them and they are sisters.
They are both shittalkers. Behind peoples back, they talk so much shit. The elder is this pudgy bitch with this pig nose that thinks shes all that. The other one is this anorexic bitch who brings up something in our departments daily meetings.

"Apparently, people think times like 9:56 or 9:58 is a good time to start their breaks... I dont know whats going on with that."

Our totally awesome supervisor just looks at her with an "Are you fucking retarded" look. But being professional she said "Well the time on our computers are not the same. We've been bugging I.T for that, but that hasn't happened yet."

Everyone in the room just looks at her and says "Shut the fuck up" with thier eyes. It was so fucking hilarious. I smirked so hard for that, that one of my other supervisors gave me a confused look.

I think the guy (who is taller than me I think) has the right Idea...sink far down in your seat and just work to 5pm so you can get the flying fuck out of there. Tunnel vision, for the win baby.

The Twisted Sisters need to learn how to fucking drive too. They almost run someone off the road every day after work.

I honestly think the gay guy who sits next to me is the most sane person in the whole motherfucker. He's a cool guy. Level headed. Doesn't say stupid shit, and is very helpful when I have questions.

My supervisors are pretty cool(not to mention a couple of them are smoking hot). But probably the coolest supervisors I've ever had. I'm really gonna start busting my ass to get out of Operations though, and get transferred to the Vendor/Criminal section.

Theres a couple of guys who must have been driven insane by the whole deal, because every lunch they eat and watch full house in the break room. WTF.

-Mike

Seriously. If you are showing off your tits. Don't get mad when I look at them.

By now, you all know me as Mike Suarez, the angry bastard or devil may care attitude who ranted occasionally(depending on the hour). But this is my final attempt at a blog. And true to the name I'm not holding anything back. So this might be one of the most fucking brutal, vulgar, honest, and inappropriate, most metal blogs ever.


So here goes my first of several rants that I have lined up for this.

Ok. I am known as an apathetic guy when it comes women and relationships. Does this mean I do not look when I see a nice set of tits or a an attractive ass? Hell no! I look. But what fucking pisses me off is this:

When some chick wears a low cut t-shirt showing off some impressive cleavage...catches a guy looking at her tits and then does one of the following:

A. Gets Mad and Yells at the NORMAL guy.
B. Huffs and puffs and sighs at the NORMAL guy. (usually accompanied by a roll of the eyes.)

However when the same chick is surrounded by guys and joking with them and doing that annoying flirting giggle. Its either 1 of 2 things in my eyes.

A: She knows what she's doing and is a total slut.
B: She's a fucking idiot and doesn't realize that all those guys around her want to ram her so hard that they are gonna have start calling her "Cockbreath" without her ever giving a blowjob.

Maybe its only guy thing that I can translate some of the mannerisms that I see by men towards women, that women see as being social or nice. Don't get me wrong. Not all guys are like this.... I'm not. But then again I have an anti-social streak. But most guys are.

But goddammit. Women... if you are gonna show it off, prepare for the reprecussions. Seriously. But remember this stupids. Women can look amazingly beautiful without dressing like a whore. But if you need to dress like a whore to make yourself feel attractive.... then you have some self esteem issues. And I ain't no fucking slut psychologist.

I hate people who "like to flirt" they go under the same fucking list as "Social Drinkers" or as I like to call them "half assers". Time Tested Advice : No one likes a fucking Tease.

I think this was pretty simple. But I could pick up a box of Crayolas if you need further explanation.

One final thing. If you have no tits. Do not wear a fucking low cut t-shirt. You look fucking retarded.