Why are we forced to make small talk at work? I don't do small talk at work. You pay me to work. You don't pay me to bullshit. There are three types of socialites at my job. All of which piss me off.
1. "The Happy Go Lucky Psycho who is also a pathological liar": Seriously? Who the fuck listens to this psycho? She is all bright and chipper. She's 36 and acts 17. It's fucking annoying. Everything she spews about her "knowing people who have done this and that" LIES. Fucking stupid shit. You know everything is in the shitter in her personal life, and its so obvious shes pumping fucking more Zoloft then that goddamn Barry Bonds pumped Steriods(Allegedy, What the fuck ever you stupid cocksucking shiteaters.)
2. "The nosy bitch that don't know": Yeah, I used bad english to describe this archtype. The one that gets into your business or whatever, says something stupid then gets mad when you say something sarcastic. This person I know, I knew in high school and she was the same way. Thats fucking stupid and now she's the nosy bitch at work.
3. "Bitch thats most likely gonna get a nigga killed": Thanks for the assist Roman(The whitest black man ever). This time its different because there are two of them and they are sisters.
They are both shittalkers. Behind peoples back, they talk so much shit. The elder is this pudgy bitch with this pig nose that thinks shes all that. The other one is this anorexic bitch who brings up something in our departments daily meetings.
"Apparently, people think times like 9:56 or 9:58 is a good time to start their breaks... I dont know whats going on with that."
Our totally awesome supervisor just looks at her with an "Are you fucking retarded" look. But being professional she said "Well the time on our computers are not the same. We've been bugging I.T for that, but that hasn't happened yet."
Everyone in the room just looks at her and says "Shut the fuck up" with thier eyes. It was so fucking hilarious. I smirked so hard for that, that one of my other supervisors gave me a confused look.
I think the guy (who is taller than me I think) has the right Idea...sink far down in your seat and just work to 5pm so you can get the flying fuck out of there. Tunnel vision, for the win baby.
The Twisted Sisters need to learn how to fucking drive too. They almost run someone off the road every day after work.
I honestly think the gay guy who sits next to me is the most sane person in the whole motherfucker. He's a cool guy. Level headed. Doesn't say stupid shit, and is very helpful when I have questions.
My supervisors are pretty cool(not to mention a couple of them are smoking hot). But probably the coolest supervisors I've ever had. I'm really gonna start busting my ass to get out of Operations though, and get transferred to the Vendor/Criminal section.
Theres a couple of guys who must have been driven insane by the whole deal, because every lunch they eat and watch full house in the break room. WTF.
-Mike
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